Real Talk: Lies I Have Told My Therapist
Yes, to answer your question, it is unproductive to lie to your therapist... but sometimes I do it anyway.
It could be that I'm doing something I know I shouldn't be doing. It could be that I'm stuck in a rut and I just want to believe that I've clawed my way out, when I really haven't. If I'm being totally honest sometimes it's just that its easier to hide from a problem that to talk about it...
... which may be part of the reason that I need therapy... but who here wants to hear about that?
Regardless. Let's talk about some lies:
- Yes, I am doing a gratitude journal. The concept of a gratitude journal is phenomenal. I get it, I really do. It helps you take greater notice of all the wonderful things and instances that surround you. I just forget to do it. I bought a journal, got a pink pen.... and wrote it for like one day. But, I feel like I'm letting my therapist down... just not enough to actually do it.
- No, I haven't seen that boy. Jesus, this is the biggie, how did it end up as number two on this list? There's a boy, one in particular, that I need to stay away from... but I don't and I don't want to... I won't... I should... It's not happening.... I don't want a lecture.
- No, I definitely don't need a tissue... *Spontaneously bursts into tears* Okay, at least this one is lighthearted, ya know? Some serious shit gets said in a therapists office, sometimes that means tears... even if I want to think that it's not going to.
- Yes, I have started running every day. This doesn't even count, right? I have totally been running a few(ish) times a week depending on how lazy I'm feeling... which is to say mostly lazy.
- Yes, I'm visualizing the person in that chair... I HATE this exercise. I HATE it. I cannot deal with it. Why does my therapist think that this activity is necessary?!
- Yes, I have a mantra... yes, I tell it to myself. Occasionally I do tell myself a mantra. In fact I did a mantra workshop at a yoga retreat that I absolutely loved. I just feel silly doing it and I've never been able to get past that.
- I've been feeling so much better! It's a process, dude.